You probably remember hearing the rumor somewhere in the hallways of your middle school, maybe even before you were fully sure about what "sex" was: If you've got a vagina, the first time you have sex is going to be unpleasant and probably painful. Obviously this rumor is an incredible bummer, and it's one that's not fair. On top of all the other things our young middle school brains were already terrified of — like periods, armpit hair, and bras — introducing the concept of sex being painful seemed so cruel. Where did the rumor even come from? And, more importantly, was there ever any truth to it? To put an end to this particular component of the tween rumor mill, Alyssa Dweck, MD, a gynecologist in New York and author of The Complete A to Z for Your V , addressed the origins of the "sex is gonna hurt the first time" myth, and cleared up what someone can actually expect the first time they decide to get down.
How to make your first time not hurt
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There are a lot of myths around sexual activity, one being that your first time having sex will hurt. Others may include oral stimulation, fingering or handjobs, or anal penetration in their definition. Your definition could also include stimulation or penetration with a sex toy. Regardless of the type of sexual activities you want to try, there are a few general tips or rules you can use to make your first sexual experience more comfortable. Masturbating can help you figure out what feels good during sex, and it can help you feel more familiar with your body.
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Many women sometimes experience pain during sex. Don't carry on if it's hurting. Sex shouldn't be painful. Having sex for the first time might be painful. The pressure on the vagina, especially if it's dry, can result in bleeding.
Back to Sexual health. When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful. You may also have some bleeding, but this isn't always the case. If bleeding happens, it's usually because your hymen has been broken during sexual intercourse.